where the fuck did all my shoelaces go
you’re all fucking idiots
tumblr: where we can have the president of the united states, a gif of supernatural, and the staff swearing and bitching at us all in the same post.
and it all makes perfect sense
You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
Remember when Obama brought them home?
This post got so much better
what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired
Cancun Underwater Museum, Mexico. 21°11’59.4”N 86°42’45.4”W
I like my women curvy. lots and lots of curves. so many curves. maybe even a spiral shape. with ketchup. my ideal woman is actually curly fry.
people who feel comfortable pooping anywhere other than their house are not to be trifled with
seeing people you dislike suffering through what they put you through is satisfying as hell
there’s a difference between “lazy” and “i don’t want to fucking do that shit”
never thought 150 thousand people would agree with me